Who Should Read "The Let Them Theory"?
A Book Review
Author Mel Robbins is best known for her motivational speaking, podcast and books. I first came across her name scrolling through Audible's recommendations for my next audiobook listen. “The High 5 Habit,” an Audible original was the first book of Mel’s I stumble upon.
I’ve also listened to Mel Robbin’s “The 5 Second Rule” Audible original audiobook.
Here’s what I enjoy most about Mel’s books that made me excited to pre-order a hard cover of “The Let Them Theory.”
What’s funny is since I’ve listened to her books and podcast, I could literally hear her voice in my head as I was reading the book. Just imagining how she would read it on an audiobook. I opted for a physical book because I wanted to be able to come back to certain chapters and should I ever need to reference back to a specific way of handling a situation.
Her Voice
I like to listen to the 5 minute sample of audiobooks to ensure the author’s voice is tolerable for me. There’s been many of times I did not do that and wasted more time than preferred. Furthermore, some books are just better to be read than listened to.
Mel’s voice is both warm and entertaining to my ears. It’s not monotonous. Nor is it over-exaggerated — you know when someone sounds like they’re trying to hard.
Simple & Practical Advice
The advice and techniques Mel recommends are typically very simple — therefore easy to remember. If the technique has more than one step, the steps are usually very relative and connected to each other.
Research
I appreciate the lengths that Mel goes to confer with professionals to research why her techniques and advice work. She cites her sources very directly. Even though the research can be science-heavy, she articulates it in a way where the average person can comprehend it.
Application
Besides using laymen’s terms, Mel always gives lots of examples of how a technique can be used. Whether she lays out an example from a professional study and/or her personal life (oftentimes both), you’re never left wondering how you can apply the advice to your own life.
The Let Them Theory
This is one of those books where the old adage “don’t judge a book by its cover” rings true. At first glance, you may have your doubts and immediate criticisms based on the title alone such as “Am I supposed to just LET people walk all over me?!” I know I did, but I decided to give it a chance anyway based on my experiences with her other books and listening to her podcast.
The Let Them Theory is not just letting people do whatever they want and get away with it. It’s typically a 2 part process; Let Them & Let Me. This second part — Let Me — is crucial.
Here’s some quote I underlined in the book that may implore you:
True power lies in our response.
Other people hold no real power over you, unless you give them that power
Saying Let Them simply relieves you of the hurt and pain you feel… but only momentarily.
When you say Let Me, you’re tapping into that power by taking responsibility for what you do, think or say next.
If you are someone that sees, talks to or deals with other people whether in person, on the phone, on the road or online, then this book is for you. And that’s pretty much everyone.
This isn’t a new concept per se. Mel acknowledges that this mindset & methodology go back to ancient philosophies and other psychological concepts such as Stoicism, Buddhism and detachment theory.
From family spats, the news rage bait, social media comparison, road rage, office politics, dating, work competition, friendship dynamics, romantic relationships, injustices of the world and beyond; it’s easy to be reactive or get consumed in other people’s shit.
The first section outlines what The Let Them Theory is, conceptualizes each step and walks the reader through why the process works. It’s a general section to get started and to understand the theory.
Each chapter thereafter, addresses different life domains and applies the Let Them, Let Me steps to various situations in short stories. From managing stress, other people’s opinions, dealing with other’s emotional reactions, overcoming chronic comparison and adult friendships; these simple steps help. It’s not just the steps though. The examples provided are stories with dialogue. These are examples of specifically what to do and say.
Complex Situations
Of course there are exceptions to the rule. Mel acknowledges that and doesn’t leave the reader hanging.
In situations where a person who is significant in your life and does not want to change, she has provides a process and dialogue that requires a few more steps and a specific type of communication. You’ll want to bookmark that chapter if it’s something you can use and want to come back to remember.
In situations where a person you love is severely struggling with major issues such as mental health or addiction, it requires even more tact. Mel provides processes for these arduous cases. Yes, I said processes — as in plural — because you want to support someone the right way.
Other Nuanced Situations
Parenting is a nuanced situation. This book is not geared towards raising children. This book is for adults interacting with other adults. However, in the appendix Mel briefly touches on the parenting bit and provides an additional free guide put together with a highly qualified doctor and professor.
Teams is another nuanced situation. We’re talking about workplace teams. Whether you’re managing a team for your business, executive team or other employees team; Mel has also mentions these situations and provides a complimentary bonus guide co-authored with an accomplished executive.
Should YOU read “The Let Them Theory”?
Yes! I absolutely recommend The Let Them Theory. It’s a good balance of story and evidence. There are so many examples provided — I would wager anyone could find a nugget of wisdom applicable to something in their life.
There is a better way of living.
As mentioned before, do not let the cover or title deceive you. There’s so much more to this book than it implies.
You can find the hardcover, audiobook and e-book of The Let Them Theory right HERE.
Happy reading, loves!