Overcompensating Warrior
Part 2 Reflection with IFS
Below is 2 of 2 deeper reflections on breakthroughs and hard truths that surfaced for me while working through Gabrielle Bernstein’s “Self Help”.
To read the original review of the book, click here.
To check out my previous reflection, click here.
As mentioned in the review of the “Self Help” Book, one of my manager protectors is who I called “The Warrior.”
Warrior in Survival Mode
There’s a destructive fiery part of me. She’s the warrior. She attacks without regard for the permanent damage. She hits below the belt. She takes the best part of her — the empath — and weaponizes to precisely strike weak spots. Insecure spots of her perceived attacker.
This survival mode part is an overcompensating warrior.
My overcompensating warrior is a fire fighter part. It goes to extremes. The problem is she doesn’t care who the true target is. If this warrior catches you in her cross hairs or perceives you to be the actual threat, oh boy, just walk away.
This overcompensating warrior reared her ugly head when she was about 16yo. The compounded pressure cracked her perfect-daughter persona — another protector part to keep conflict between parents at bay.
The beast was unleashed. Unhinged. All the things she wished she could’ve said came out a thousand times worse dressed in poisonous spikes for words.
This overcompensating warrior wished she could have defended herself when she was younger and had less power. She wished she could have defended her mom and siblings more when she was younger, but needed to walk a fine line within the “perfect-daughter” persona. Once she realized the line was gone, the straight and narrow didn’t matter anymore.
This firefighter part overprotects when survival mode is activated. When things seem to be a threat to her character or basic needs; or when she’s faced with gaslighting, this warrior mode activates like a spontaneous volcanic eruption.
Once triggered, she doesn’t premeditate, she just attacks instinctually. Have you ever heard the term, “I don’t know what came over me”? That’s what it feels like when this fire fighter is activated.
